I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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