i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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