I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize