Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize