bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
