dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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