Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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