Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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