No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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