We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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