is your mom at the bar?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize