6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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