my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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