the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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