I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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