we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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