Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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