Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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