is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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