Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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