You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Im part way to drunk.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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