im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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