Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize