I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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