I just pynch a tree in the face
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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