ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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