So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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