Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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