i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize