Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize