I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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