Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize