You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
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the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
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