Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Please don't give away my fajitas
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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