remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize