Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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  (206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8
  Replies (7) Good night (3704) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

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  (970): 3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4. http://tfl.nu/2tep
  Replies (16) Good night (7326) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in

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  (518): it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in http://tfl.nu/7n77
  Replies (31) Good night (4487) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.

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  (309): I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket. http://tfl.nu/mff0
  Replies (11) Good night (3915) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.

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  (408): Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling. http://tfl.nu/ek2q
  Replies (26) Good night (674) Bad night (4210) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

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  (602): And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone http://tfl.nu/f58w
  Replies (20) Good night (5311) Bad night (1094) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal

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  (281): Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal http://tfl.nu/lnon
  Replies (20) Good night (3757) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.

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  (503): I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan. http://tfl.nu/4npq
  Replies (12) Good night (3186) Bad night (1721) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.

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  (250): when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success. http://tfl.nu/50hi
  Replies (9) Good night (1585) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.

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  (219): The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up. http://tfl.nu/gycw
  Replies (4) Good night (1071) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.

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  (919): It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn. http://tfl.nu/o70k
  Replies (6) Good night (1100) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.

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  (253): You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded. http://tfl.nu/x9oy
  Replies (2) Good night (795) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?

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  (816): This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head. (1-816): Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!" (573): Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I? http://tfl.nu/8ei3
  Replies (8) Good night (1387) Bad night (327)
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  (831): View more from California

  think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.

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  (831): think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout. http://tfl.nu/imuz
  Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.

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  (612): It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on. http://tfl.nu/eatv
  Replies (4) Good night (468) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt

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