One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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