32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize