This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
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I stole a fireplace last night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
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I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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