i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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