I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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