currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
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I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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