Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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