I must be too annoying 4 u.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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