You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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