You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
