dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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