i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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