If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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