After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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